Cat VS. Dog

We have a cat named Oreo, now as far as cat’s go she is rather large. Problem is we also have a dog. Now the dog’s name is George and he’s part mastiff and as you know as far as dog’s go he’s well.. he’s freeking huge. Now George keeps wanting to play with Oreo thinking it’s a funny looking small dog. Now Oreo just knows this large thing with lots of teeth is after her and she isn’t sure he heard that ‘cats are friend not food’ so she run’s. Now George thinks the game is on so he chases after her. This worked just great for years ‘cause George is too large to run very far with out a heart attack or slipping in a pile of drool. However one fateful day Oreo decided that she had enough and was going to stand her ground. Now I’m sure most of you have heard the saying “well all the cat need’s to do is give the dog a good swat on the nose with it’s claws.” Well as long as the dog is not part mastiff (or related breed) it is a sound theory. Now mind you the Mastiff type breeds were originally bread to do things like fight lions in the Coliseum or to knock over war horses or even take on Bears. That’s what the extra skin around the neck is for and the almost leather around the neck. George just sneezed and kept going when I tried to install one of those invisible fence things, didn’t even notice. Not to mention the teeth the size of my pinky. Now back to Oreo’s delusions of grandeur. She decided that she would latch on to Georges neck with her front claws, claw is underbelly with her deadly back claws and at the same time bite him on the snout to show him that she is not one to be taken lightly. Again great tactic if you are not trying to take on a dog like George. George just looked at Oreo as if to say WTF??? really those little things?? ok yer joking right. Now the cat is fully committed now so she doubles down buy trying to chew on skin intended to take on, oh I don’t know 2 inch claws. Now this is about the time that she realizes that she is right in front of some very large teeth and that she hasn’t even drawn the slightest bit of blood. So you can just picture her saying to her self, “ Awwwww Shit what do I do now!” and you could see George saying (to quote the philosopher Shrek) “this is the part when you run.” And that’s about when Oreo goes flying across the house and up the stairs. I don’t think we saw her for the better part of a day.

The moral of the story is know your enemy and you will win about half the time, know yourself first and then your enemy and you will win all the time. Or never bring needles when you need a spear and a sword.